I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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