wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
