I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize