Need sex. Gaining weight.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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