Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
