giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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