How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
