'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize