This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Randomize
