So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
