is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Randomize
