sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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