I puked a lego.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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