so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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