I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Randomize
