Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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