Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize