My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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