I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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