a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
