You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
pray to the hookup gods
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
