I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
