Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
