he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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