Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
