he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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