So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
