maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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