glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Randomize
