btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize