For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
