I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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