does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
