im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Green mimosas i think yes
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
