Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
