i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
