do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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