My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
is it fun? or sober?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
