Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
