Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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