Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
