he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
