Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I want to be your penis for a week.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
