We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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