6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
