I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
