whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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