hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
