I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
