Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
