I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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