Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
