I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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