My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I just want nice things and good sex
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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