my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
