it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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