Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
