I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I just blew my weed a kiss
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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