So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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