I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
