I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
