the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
