He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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